Where is my patience hiding?

I have been at the end of my rope, the one called patience, lately. I mean, why must my children, ALL 7, go at warp speed and at top volume from wake-up to bedtime? Arguing, fighting,playing games that require MUCH noise, etc. I can usually accept a bit of chaos, but lately, that “bit” has grown in to full fledge craziness. What does it take to have a “Duggar” like family, where the kids are kids but they are kind and considerate to one another, they aren’t demanding of their parents attention ALL OF THE TIME, and how in the world are JimBob and Michelle so darn calm all of the time. If I could smile half as much as she does, and handle my children with her grace and mercy, maybe they would behave in a more peaceable manner.

Hmmmm, maybe that’s the key. Peace in ME, produces peace in my family.
 I am determined to make this year one of PEACE for our family. If I can rest in the peace of the Father’s love, and maintain that peace externally, model it for my children, I pray it will produce in them the same peaceful spirit. The last 6 or 7 months have been incredibly stressful, with Martin loosing his job,us moving to cut expenses, beginning to home school, etc etc etc, and whether I want to admit it or not, it has had an effect on my ability to cope with the normal every day stressors that are inevitable with a family of 9. So, I am starting NEW, with a fresh outlook, and am committing to give up my need to understand the whys, and stay focused on the WHO! Only in pursuing Him, can I find true peace. And that is my hearts desire. I am not there  yet, and am not even sure what the road that leads there looks like. I am, however, promised that if I seek Him with all of my heart, I WILL find Him.

Let journey begin!


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