AAAHAAAA!

Yesterday, I had one of those moments~ you know, that AAHAA! moment, when the thing you have been struggling to figure out, just seems to come into focus and you get it. I have been preesing into God and begging for a break through in regards to our joblessness, and seemingly endless closed and closing doors. I was sort of having a “where are you ” moment , and this is the conversation I had with God:Why are we still here?!?!

Why are you asking to be somewhere other than where I want you?  

Wait, WHAT? God, you really want us HERE< really? Why? This is soooooo hard?

Why? Don’t you believe that I made you and numbered your days and knew FULL WELL that this would be a part of your life? and maybe perhaps, it is a GOOD thing? Do you believe that my Word is truth?  Do you believe that I am who I say I am?   Jehovah Jireh~ God Provider . That I will do what I say I say I will do? Provide your every need. Have I lied?

Uuuuummmmm, okay,yes I believe you to be my provider and you have been faithful in every area of life.

So, what’s the problem? You must submitt to the tests and learn to rest in me ALWAYS. Not just when it comes easy, even when I am not working the way you want me to. Believe that I am building a testimony and shining thru your brokeness.

Brokeness hurts God, I feel pretty shattered right now.

 Great, that is the point. The more cracks the more I spill out, and do you not trust the potter to put it all back the way it should go?

Hmmm, maybe I need to get past my pride,and admitt that maybe, this isn’t all about me. Maybe God is doing something bigger than just working ON us, maybe just maybe, He is working THROUGH us.
I had a picture of a shattered clay flower pot that a child was gluing back together, when what I should have seen was that by God’s glorious foreknowledge and design, this whole process of being broken is just the next step towards becoming the vessel He intends me to be, with just enough brokeness to spill Him out on those around me.

I have a whole new level of trust and acceptance of circumstances as they are( not as I want them to be) , understanding that trying to escape this place before He is done with me, only means I will have to come back again, to be reshaped. 

 In Psalm 139~ He says he knew me before the foundation of the world, and all my days were layed out before him~ He saw it all, the good, the bad, the ugly and he loved me anyways. He planned my days to include the trials that would strengthen me, knowing that first they would break me.

 So , my aaaahaaa moment was realizing this ~ Brokeness is not a bad thing, it is where we finally reach the place of acknowledging that we need the master to put us back together, not just patch the cracks.

 Enjoy the journey folks, accepting the brokeness that comes with trials, knowing it will make you stronger.

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