Every child deserves a family…..

A friend of mine and her girls are in Guatemala on a mission trip, and she posted pictures from their visit to the orphanage. I look at those sweet faces and I want to pick them up, hug them  tight and give them a home. There is one little fella, Minor is his name, and every time I look at his picture, something in me stirs. I can see him running and playing and getting into things with JP. I know, there comes heartache with the happiness, but every child deserves a home, and a family to call their own! His mother left him in a ditch after giving birth, and in his eyes you can see the lasting effect it has had. He never had a mom to nurture and love him. A dad to rock him, and wrestle with, and even though he is being cared for, it isn’t the same.

I never imagined, having 7 children of my own, that the day would come when I was chomping at the bit to bring in more. I know I can’t save them all, but God has put this vision in my heart and I know , in His timing He will open the doors and send the children that are meant to be with us.  I keep thinking that it is a passing phase, but the desire just keeps getting stronger.  I get in my “new” van and see seats that need to be filled:) Even on days like today, when I have 4 little ones feeling bad and all needing my lap, I can see room for more. Joshua was telling me today, that he wanted us to “get” him a brother ,and could he be 5 or 6:) Even my kids, who I sometimes think feel slighted, want more.

When I think of the children out there, longing for the love of a mom and dad, I am very thankful for having grown up with both. Thankful to still have both. It makes me thankful for my sweet munchkins. It also makes me thankful, and very much aware of the fact, that we serve ABBA~ Daddy God, and He is always there cradling those sweet children, and He has a plan for them, just like He has a plan for us. I do not have to understand, I can simply rest in the knowledge that He cares more than I ever could.

Praying for wisdom and direction as I abide in Him.


Random thoughts and ponderings…..

Why is it , that as moms, we are so very hard on ourselves, and believe that it is our job to “keep it all together”, for ourselves and everyone around us? Yesterday, as I was dealing with a sick child, a messed up vehicle, a house that is in desperate need of attention, thoughts of how to cut our budget, remembering that in about 4 weeks, unless God provides a vehicle, every time I load my kids up to go somewhere, I will be driving illegally, it became a load too heavy. If one of my friends was in my shoes I would tell her to do what she could and let God pick up the rest. I mean , God is in control, knows the needs better than us, and has a plan for our good, right? Why is it that I can believe that so easily for others but feel overwhelmed and troubled and faithless in my own circumstances sometimes? Why can I be understanding of the failures of others but not accept my own? I know I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, why is it the Grace so easily offered to others, the faith that doesn’t waiver (on someone elses behalf), the patience, the love , and understanding that flows naturally FOR OTHERS is so absent for self?

 A friend shared this link with me and it has really made me stop and think. I need daily, and sometimes even moment by moment ,reminders that God’s grace is always available, always free , and meant for me.

GRACE FOR OTHERS, BUT NOT FOR ME | People of the Second Chance


So, as I struggle with my own failings and learning to be truly thankful in all things, I encourage the rest of you to accept your failures as areas for God to show His strength and might, and as opportunities to be thankful for His unending mercies, His grace for us all, and his unconditional love. May we daily live , knowing it is only by His grace  that we aren’t crushed by our own humanity, our failures don’t surprise Him one bit and through it all He is by our side.

  Another random thought……

Are what we need and what we think we need the same ? Is God in His great wisdom, giving us exactly what we need , when we need it, in spite of what we perceive our need to be?

Living fully aware

I have been reading “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp, and have really had to search my heart and motives and, well, really, EVERYTHING, about me. The book is a compilation of stories and descriptions of her process of learning to live in the moment with a heart of EUCHARISTEO ( grace, thanksgiving , and joy all rolled into one). Grace being the gift, thanksgiving is naming the gift and being TRULY grateful, and joy is what is produced. In the book, her journey begins with a challenge, or dare, from a friend, to name 1,000 things she loves ( things she is grateful for), and how, in looking for those things, she became aware of how much of life just goes unnoticed if we don’t live the moments on purpose. Living fully aware of life around us, of the things that make our lives what they are, and expressing true gratitude to the Giver of all good things.

As I have read the book, I too am going to take the challenge. Having 7 little ones, can sometimes blur the vision, or warp my perception of things. So , I am committing to live fully aware at all times, letting myself see the gifts and take the time to immerse myself in them. Whether it be washing dishes, or clothes , playing referee to my children, being the disciplinarian I am called to be, or cuddling with and loving on my children, I want to fully experience all of the joys  that reside in each. You see the Bible says that where He is there is joy,and He is Omnipresent, thus joy is to be found EVERYWHERE. If we seek Him, we will find Him, and in finding Him, we find it~ Joy unspeakable and full of GRACE. We are to be filled to overflowing, and the gift we give or the Grace we shower is what leads others to the source of their joy.

So many incredible lessons is the wonderful book. Highly recommend it. It has and is forever changing me.

So don’t let too many moments fly away unnoticed, or only lived half way. Immerse yourselves in all that you do, looking for God in it, and in the process find true joy.

Mother’s Day and this hearts cry

Today, I celebrated my privilege of motherhood , and the chores that come with it,with my husband and my 7 wonderful  children. I celebrated the fact that I have a WONDERFUL Mother, and Mother-in-law. I celebrated the many wonderful loving mothers that I have the privilege to call sisters, cousins, aunts, grandma, or friend.

This morning though, I woke up with a bit of a heavy heart for those who  don’t have a mom to celebrate. Although, I know it is hard to have a great mom, who passes away, those folks can , while it hurts, still celebrate the wonderful life their mothers lived, how much they poured into their lives and the awesome memories that remain, I am talking about children( and adults too I suppose) who have never had a REAL mom to celebrate. They have been in foster care or orphanages or wherever, and they do not know the love, care, and nurture of a MOTHER. I have recently had such a burden for these kids. I do not know why, but in my heart, I want our family to be that safe home that offers them a family life, and love like they have never known. I know, CRAZY!!! that is surely what you are thinking. 

Working in the boy’s home 13 years ago, left a permanent impression on me, and I really have felt burdened for the “orphans” in America lately. My vision is to one day have a home large enough to take in 4-6 kids and make them a part of our family. I have no idea what God will do with this “heart’s desire”, but I do know that He will give us direction and make provision as we follow Him. I laugh sometimes when I think about it, because I need a new vehicle for the family as it is, and can’t even afford that. It would thrill my soul to have every seat in a 15 passenger van filled with kids that God gives us the privilege to shine a bit of Him into ( that would mean 6 more kids on top of my 7). I can not begin to imagine how it could possibly work out, or be feasible, but this is what I know, my ABBA owns the cattle on a hundred hilltops, and when it is HIS time for this vision to be a reality, HE will make the provision.

So , I suppose, until then, I will watch for opportunities to love on a child,  give a pat on the back , include the kid on the sidelines watching, in our games at the park, and pray that God will use those simple acts, and let HIS love leave an impact in their lives. It is easy to get busy with life and not even notice. Maybe that is why God has given me such a tender spot for these kids, so it will be a reminder to make the effort daily, to find one child that needs a little hug,  encouragement, praise, or even just a smile.

I pray that you have had a wonderful Mother’s Day celebrating all that it means in your life. I know I sure have.

 Be Blessed:)

Love seems to be the theme

I have had an incredible evening, soaking in the love of and for my Heavenly Father. Funny how, when we least expect it, God shows up and lavishes His love on us, and reminds us that He is there, and He truly desires relationship with us. It all started today with my devotions in Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 13:4 (New International Version, ©2011)

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

I have been praying that God would help me teach my children the importance of love- both for God and for their”neighbors” ( and I guess especially – their siblings). It is my opinion that if you love someone , you place their needs, wants and wishes above your own. So, if we truly love God then LOVE should be the root of all actions , words, and thoughts, since we are told that the greatest commandment is to love God and second to that is to love others.

 HMMMM- children learn more from what they see you do, than what they hear you say….. OUCH! My children see me lack patience, and get upset over spilled milk, and raise my voice, and…. all in all lack a loving attitude and it is clearly demonstrated in my words, and my huffs and puffs and sighs( results of my thoughts).

Now,maybe I am the only one who is looking over the last week, and seeing some not so lovely moments, but it has made me take pause. I need to remember that my love for God and my love for others is so intricately intertwined, the lines disappear. Hard to do one without the other. Can I truly Love God and yet not love those around me- even if they are unlovely? Can I really love God and lack patience with my kids? Can I really love God and not show kindness to the very rude cashier, who informed me of my “unbelievable ignorance” for having 7 kids? In our minds we separate the two- love for God and love for our fellow man, but somehow, I think the two are very much the same to God. I DO love my God, with an unending, deep, abiding love and I want that love to spill over into and onto everything I think, say, and do. I was really mulling this over and asking God to show me why I sometimes have such a hard time with this whole”love thy neighbor” thing, and I remembered something I heard a long time ago~ We would not have such a hard time being kind, patient and loving if we could just get it through our thick skulls- that we no longer have “rights”.We gave up all of our “rights” when we gave our lives to Christ.  YEP- if somehow, I wasn’t concerned with my “right” to a polite cashier, or “my right” to a few minutes of peace and quiet, or “my right” to whatever, and remember the only “right” I have now( because I willingly chose Christ over “my rights”) is to take up my cross and follow Him. Carrying the cross is not easy, or fun, or pain free for us- Neither was it for Him- and yet He loved us enough to give up His every right, carry that cross, and die a PAINFUL death, so that we may have sweet fellowship with Him. Makes my “complaints” so petty!

Puts true love in perspective .

The fabric I’m made of

Ever heard folks say “that’s just the fabric I’m made of” ? I have heard it many times and just never gave it a thought really. As many of you are aware, I love to sew. Okay, well, honestly, I love fabric, all sorts of fabrics, and so I sew in order to use the  fabrics that I love. And in case you aren’t aware, there are A LOT of types of fabrics. Fabrics for clothes, fabrics for upholstery, fancy fabric, plain fabric, frilly and dainty fabric, rough and tough fabric, and the list goes on. I recently won a GC to an online Fabric store (Skye Reve Fabrics) and can’t decide what to get, even though I have browsed her inventory daily for 2 weeks.So I suppose, as I was looking through the HUNDREDS of choices , my mind began to wander as it often does, and I thought about how we are  all so unique and so individual, and each has exactly what they need for the life God has planned for them. And then it occurred to me, not one thing about my life surprises Him.He chose the fabric that is me, with a specific purpose and plan. He saw the whole picture before I had a name, and wove me into the exact fabric needed for this life. You know, some of us are made of fabric that easily ravels, some are made of the roughest ,scratchiest material , and yet others of the softest silkiest you’ve ever felt. God knew that each fabric would have strengths, and each would have weaknesses, and as each was put to use, He knew what that would mean for each life. Some would need a whole lot of reinforcing, and yet others, stronger than the rest, would need to be “stone washed” to beat in some softness, otherwise, one would fall apart and the other would be too stiff to use.  Just like we don’t ask a garment “so what kind of fabric do you want to be made of?”. neither were we asked our choice. I would have probably chosen something a bit sturdier and a little less wrinkle prone  myself, but alas, He knows best, and I am so glad He made me who I am. Psalm 139 has always been a favorite for me. It is reassuring to be reminded that He knows me, I mean REALLY knows me, and yes, He still chose me, and loves me and lovingly patches my weak spots as they appear.

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

 1 You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.

 7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.

 13 For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.

 19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.

So what is the fabric you’re made of?

stressing the seams

 I was working on quilt last night , I was ironing and “stressing” the seams in the blocks, before I join them all as one quilt top. I do this to be sure they are all tight and the stitches are sure. As I was doing this, it occurred to me, that we are very much like quilt blocks, and God stresses our seams to find the weak spots, so that He can “sure them up”, before we get too far into the process. The repairs are much easier and much quicker if done now, and you don’t have to rip any seams out to fix it. If, however you wait until you have joined 20 blocks together to stress the seams, and one right in the middle is loose ,boy what a pain it is to take the pieces apart one painstaking seam at a time. I think life is very much like that. When we rush a head of God and get ahead of the process, we face some “seam ripping”, and it isn’t a fun thing to go through.  I am grateful for a loving , gracious, and merciful Heavenly Father, who takes the time and care to stress the seams of my life, and when necessary, tear out the seams that are inadequate, and sure them up, so that when the normal wear and tear of life comes along, my seams are secured in Him!

 I think, if I can figure out how, the name of this blog will change to “stressedattheseams”. It is a much more appropriate name for where I am.

 Just remember when your seams are being stressed it has a positive purpose, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

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